


Querencia

by Owlwithafringe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Marauders' Era, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 21:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7285060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlwithafringe/pseuds/Owlwithafringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin suffered from nightmares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Querencia

**Author's Note:**

> This fic exists bc of [this post](http://asktheboywholived.tumblr.com/post/146032318137/asktheboywholived-asktheboywholived) \- (seriously if you don't already know this blog check out their cosplay bc i am so attracted to their Sirius, it's horribly unfair). I'd also like to thank the wonderful [morewordsthantime](http://morewordsthantime.tumblr.com) for betaing this fic, and for introducing me to the wonders of Remus and Sirius.
> 
>  
> 
> _Querencia (n. Spanish): a place where one feels safe, a place from which one’s strength of character is drawn, a place where one feels at home._

Remus Lupin suffered from nightmares.

 

It was hardly a surprise all things considered, but when you really  _ were _ a monster and your bad dreams were your everyday reality, it sometimes made Remus wonder what  was left to wake him up at night sweating and gasping for air, with the sound of his heart hammering in his ears.

 

But it didn’t really matter what he wondered about, because it happened regardless. Not as often, the older he got, but unfortunately in exchange for the infrequency, they got more vivid and intense. Sometimes the nightmares were almost as bad his transformations.  _ Almost _ .

 

Remus was pretty confident in saying that had it not been for the Marauders, he wouldn’t have made it as far as he had. He probably would have dropped out of Hogwarts before the end of first year; miserable, exhausted and frustrated, but as it were a ragtag group of boys had decided to adopt Remus as one of their own and that had been that, no questions asked.

 

He’d never had a group of friends like the Marauders before. In fairness, he’d never really had  _ friends _ before. Being a wizard  _ and _ a werewolf made social interactions with other children hard enough as it was, but the real deal breaker was the fact that he lived in the arse end of nowhere and therefore didn’t happen upon many other people of his age.

 

Even if he’d  _ had _ friends before coming to Hogwarts, he couldn’t imagine them being like the Marauders. Before Hogwarts he couldn’t have imagined anyone like the Marauders: he didn’t know people like them actually existed outside of fiction.

 

They were vehemently loyal, and fiercely devoted, and intelligent - for the most part - quick witted and brilliantly wild. They were the heroes of stories, and yet they had made do with being just Remus’ champions – safe guarding his secrets; standing by his side  _ always, _ even when a much wiser wizard would have run; battling his bad dreams away.

 

Admittedly, it had been a while since Remus had had a dream bad enough that he thought it warranted waking his friends up in the middle of the night but as he blinked his  eyes open, he was stood by Sirius’s bed before he’d even had a chance to think about it, his body moving completely on sleep addled instinct.

 

Sirius was sleeping soundly in his bed, shadows cutting over angular cheeks and the moonlight, something Remus despised with every fibre of his being, making Sirius look ethereal. If Remus hadn’t known about wizards and werewolves and giants, he might have even said Sirius looked magical. But he  _ did _ know better, and he refused to admit to ever being that sappy about  _ Sirius Black _ of all people. He’d never hear the bloody end of it.

 

Sirius looked peaceful as he slept, much younger without that arrogant smirk that somehow managed to completely derail Remus’s brain whenever he saw it. The longer Remus stood there, the more he second guessed himself about waking Sirius up. It seemed stupid, especially at their age. Remus felt way too old to crave that sort of comfort, but the flashes of the nightmare that his mind was happily supplying were enough to cause him to linger.

 

He realised he was going to have decide sooner or later what he was going to do because he was fairly certain that standing over your mate’s bed watching them sleep was a pretty abnormal thing to do, bordering on the line of creepy.

 

“Remus?”

 

The decision was made for him, as Sirius blinked tiredly up at him, his eyes still foggy with sleep. Remus didn’t say anything. Maybe he could still sneak back to bed, convince the half awake Sirius that he was still dreaming. But then,

 

“Nightmare?”

 

There wasn’t any pity in his voice, nor was there judgement or annoyance. Just a simple question.

 

He could lie, say it was nothing. Remus knew that if he said no then Sirius would leave it at that, wouldn’t push it further or question why Remus was stood by his bed. But the way Sirius was looking at him, just simple sincerity,  didn’t make him want to lie. He didn’t want to pretend he was alright when he wasn’t, not to Sirius, not right now.

 

There was a beat of  silence whilst Remus made up his mind. It was funny how time seemed to stretch in the dark, how the quiet seemed deafening. Not trusting his voice, he reluctantly nodded at Sirius.

 

Silently, Sirius shuffled backwards towards the opposite side of his bed and patted the empty space he’d made on the mattress where he’d just been lying. Remus hesitated for another beat, before getting into the bed. He could feel Sirius’s eyes on him as he slipped under the covers but ignored them as he made himself comfortable.

 

He lay on his side, facing Sirius. They were separated by mere centimetres.  Remus could feel Sirius exhale, the warm air brushing his cheek. It was oddly intimate despite the fact they weren’t even touching.

 

“You wanna talk about it?” Sirius asked.

 

Remus shook his head no. “More of the same kind of thing.” Remus would have shrugged if he hadn’t been lying down. “Just hit a little closer to home tonight, I guess.”

 

Remus adamantly avoided Sirius’s gaze, but he knew he was being watched  intently. He knew Sirius was seeking out eye contact, but he also knew that Sirius would be able to  read him like a book, so he didn’t allow his thoughts to linger on the content of the dream.

 

“Sleep?” Sirius asked at last, before letting out a quiet laugh under his breath that held no real humour. “Well, try to at least?”

 

“Yeah.” Remus replied with a small smile. The word sounded like an empty promise, even to his own ears.

 

“Hey.” There was something in Sirius’s tone, something about the way he said it that made Remus look up and meet his eyes. It wasn’t forceful or demanding, but it was quietly insistent. “I’m right here. You can sleep.”

 

If he hadn’t known how screwed he was before, how stupidly in love with Sirius Black and his obnoxious smile and his perfect hair and his fervour for life he was, then he probably would have realised it then.

 

Instead Remus let his eyes flicker shut, exhaustion washing over him as he let himself drift, feeling safe and very nearly content, wondering how Sirius somehow managed to have that effect on him. “Thank you.”

 

“Sweet dreams Moony.”

 

“Sweet dreams Pads,” he echoed, and then, he was asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos and comments, feedback is always appreciated and motivates me to write more! Come and find me on Tumblr at **[jimkivk](http://jimkivk.tumblr.com/)** , or if you're a book fan, come and find my book blog, **[williamherxndale](http://williamherxndale.tumblr.com/)**. (◡‿◡✿)


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